Applause machine
No, it wasn’t some strange clapping cult they had walked into, Zoe reassured the guests who had decided to come to the meeting last night. It was only Toastmasters, and clapping is part of the routine.
So we zealously clapped four speakers unto the stage and off again, as well as the various functionaries and impromptu speakers. Under Glen’s suave leadership, the meeting ran like clockwork.
Joanne volunteered to be the timekeeper when that gap in the programme needed to be filled. And Sergi with the surname that rolled so beautifully off Glen’s tongue proved a skilled first-time grammarian.
Jean-Marc’s speech number four was an eruption of metaphor and emotion, which earned him the title of best speaker of the night. “Without something to say, we are a hammer without nails, gloves without hands, shoes without feet!”, he exclaimed, urging us to inject some conviction into our speeches.
Tilly’s speech ‘The Last Word’ was as captivating as it was daring, as it dealt with a subject that no one likes to think about: death. She too used metaphor, more sparsely than Jean-Marc, but certainly as effectively. She handled the topic with sensitivity and her signature sense of humour.
Next up was Joga, who tried to entice the audience into coming out with embarrassing confessions about addiction. We wisely kept our secrets to ourselves, but he shared with us his own shameful weakness for English mustard and video games.
Zoe told us about the fascinating findings of a study into what makes men fall in love. It turns out skirts on a first date are good, and bossing him around, bad. Although the speech was packed with facts and figures, we never felt overwhelmed because her talk was relevant to all and well structured. She also elicited some profuse audience participation, getting the men to admit they don’t like nagging, boring, complaining women.
Table topics saw Alan present speaker after speaker with some truly awful holiday scenarios. Carl, who educated us about the benefits of cold water in the morning, came out victorious. The audience voted Gary best evaluator, for his constructive and to-the-point treatment of all the impromptu speakers.
Our next regular meeting is on 7 February. Next week (24 Jan), it’s the evaluation workshop; as I write this, there are still a few places available for members, so sign up quickly before they’re all gone. If you need persuading: there will be pizza.

